Family mediation is a process in which an independent, professionally trained mediator helps you work out arrangements for children and finances following separation.
Mediation can also be helpful when arrangements you’ve made before need to change, particularly as your children grow up.
Mediation helps you stay in control. No-one will make you do anything against your wishes.
The mediator will help you find a solution which works for you both and will explain what needs to happen to make an agreement between you legally binding.
The first meeting with a mediator is often called a Mediation Information & Assessment Meeting or MIAM. Whether it’s called a MIAM or a first meeting, it will cover the same things. You will attend this alone.
The MIAM will last about an hour, and will give you an opportunity to tell the mediator about your situation, and the issues that need to be decided. The mediator will tell you about the mediation process and other options for reaching agreements.
At the end of the meeting, the mediator will tell you whether your case may be suitable for mediation, and you can decide whether you want to proceed with mediation or explore another option for resolving issues. If you want to proceed with mediation and you have initiated the process, the mediator will invite your ex partner to also attend a MIAM. The process will be the same as above.
If you agree, the mediator might also refer you to other organisations who can help you, such as those who can offer counselling, debt advice, or information about how to parent co-operatively after separation, where these are relevant. The mediator can also give you information about other services which provide help and support.
If you have children who are over the age of 10, the mediator will discuss with you their rights to have their views taken into account. This is an important part of the process designed to support the health and well-being of the children as well as to help parents come to good workable decisions. Research shows this part of the process brings real benefits to your children and to parents as they make decisions for the family.
What happens next?
If both parties want to go ahead with mediation and the mediator feels mediation is suitable, a first mediation session will be arranged. This will take place online.
Mediators are trained to:
Listen and help you both to work out what has to be dealt with
Discuss what your options might be and what might work best for the future.
Make sure you both have chance to speak and be heard
Provide any information needed to help your discussions
Tell you when you might need further independent advice on matters such as pensions
Ensure decisions are made jointly, are fair for both of you, for any children involved, and for your family circumstances
When you reach agreement, the mediator will put it in writing and make sure you’re all clear about what it means.
If either party does not want to go ahead with mediation, you will be issued with a signed court form that is usually required to make an application to court.
Are the decisions we make legally binding?
The decisions you reach aren’t legally binding on their own. But you can ask a court to make what you’ve decided into a legally binding consent order. Your mediator can explain what this is and how you can get a consent order.
There is a cost for this court application and your mediator will be able to provide information about this. If you get legal aid you may qualify for free legal advice and help with this.